


Camp Sburb

by Numacakes



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/F, F/M, M/M, Multi, Other
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-08-07
Updated: 2015-08-16
Packaged: 2017-12-22 17:41:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 2,368
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/916154
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Numacakes/pseuds/Numacakes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John Egbert does not want to attend Camp Sburb, but suddenly everyone he knows is going. Was there just a sudden jump in popularity or is something evil at hand?<br/>(If you're not in the mood for random bullshit, skip to chapter 8 for the real story)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. DAY 1

John Eggderp was neva 1 2 go 2 camp but hiz daddy wus all liek "Naw bruh, u go 2 camp n get fun timez wit da gurls" And John wus liek "But daaaaaddd i h8t fapping" But dad dounte care n sent him . Da net day, john wus on da buz wit a gurl namd Roe abd jawn thought rose wss vurt purest. But john wus homo so he didn't ask hur too get in his panties. Da buz dricer wus pullin through d@ it stopped at a dumb broken down camp. "WUT DA FUK IZ DIS SHEIT?" A cum bouy namd yelled. "IZ YO MOFUCKIN STOP MOFUCKER" He your Google back. dad was read the comp is it so easy that back down edit that out his came all will. John got up n went out the buz thru da window. Rood followed him and so did every1 else becuz jawn wuz just dat coo. Karat didn't becuz he hatd john becus his coolnessness. Kabat climbed firm hiz windo wit hiz gurldrid Teredzi Pie rope. The camp consort wus a big man mane Equius Zamalk.  
"YER CABINS" He barked poking at dey bootyz "IZ DA BLU 1S WIT DA GREY FAG" and then he loked at da gurls "yer cabins iz in ma van ova there" he blinked nbthen pointed to da red 1s. "JK LOLZ" D gurls walked to der cabins reel crept out and they all buncked togather. Tha next duy! John was aken bie a long horn bing blast from da sputters. He had tooken a bed wit Dave becus he was rel cuts to him. Jawn new dis wauz gon b a gooooood firndshup. They go up and put on a njce concord boots. They walked out and Dave grabbed john snd they ran to the woods. "John.." dave said. "Ye?" john refried. "I....I think i'm in loaf with you" He turns away and cries until a loud scream makes him stop. "Fa fuk is dat?" He whipsers. John shrugs and hugs dave pushing him up into the tree. "I think i load you toi Davide" He whipsers sexly. he tears of his cloaths and they make out be4.....KARKAT N TEREZI APPER! :O CLIFFYYYYY FID OUT WUT HAPPENS NEXT!


	2. CONTINUED

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Guysssss! Plz ignore all da h8ters XD anywayzz Karkat n Hiz gurl Tz showed up! ThNks to ma gurl jenjen for helping me with da story!

Karkat stated at John and Dave. "WHAT THE FUCK ASS ARE YOU 2 DOIN?" He yells pulling Treezi closer to him. Dave gasp his dong so Karat didn't see it. He had a small crush on Karmat since they met in the 3rd grade. "Im doin Dave." John sass as he finally grows some balls. Karfat dries and Treaties laughs loudly. "I CAN SMELL UR PLUSH RUMBA FROM HERE!" She yells loud enough a demon could here hur from the dark bloody apples of hell! Dave wus in his valium again and he ran away in a fit of loud SEXY sobs.John follows him glaring at karate while putin on his pants. "Dis not ova Vantadd" he bowls running off. John wus reel upset dat Dave wus crying. "DAVEEEEEE" He stumbles "DAVIIIEEE" john felt his feet fall and he feel into a dark denims cave. "GWHAHSUHAUSGDUFHIGHHDGGX!" A voice screeds.

It wus ERIDAN DS SEA MONSTA! He wus so mad dat john got daves hot ass becuz dave banged him in homeschool and he had felt a close heart for dave. "U MUS BRING ME DA DONG O DAVE STRUDLE OR I WIL EAT ROSE!" He lafs happily and stores down at john. Rose wus a very boring neat creeper but rose was 1 of rooses cloest friends and he couldn't let dat hapen. "PLZ NO! I LEAF HIM TOO MUCH!" Eridan was angry so he threw a dildo at johns hesd and John woke up in a small bed with his friends all aroynd him. "WHERE M I?" John yells loudly that they all fallen over. Karkat was there too so he got back up and kicked john in his dingling. "UR IN THE UCP OF CAMP SBURB." John was shocked at this and got us running to lok 4 dave. "JOHN U SHITMOTHERFUCKERTARD FACE!" Kart yells. John fell ova before passingbout again :O

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Plz don't hate me cuz im aweso. also longer chaptur! HATERD CN SUCK IT XDDDDDDXDXDXD YOLO


	3. Where iz dave strudler?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thnks agin jenjen! Aso thnks 4 da kudos! Kep telin ya fronds boat dis fic!

John wus full blown naked. Running through the walls o da forestry. "DAVE???" And den Eridn apeatsled agin. "U hav 5 day until i eat.roe!" He laughably sinks into threw da dirt and Johns face is all helically. He pads out again and Karpat finds him and kicka his but. "JOHN U FUCKING DICK ASS CUNT FUCKER" Equius comes up behind him and picks up John staring at hiz dondonh the hoel tim. "Hey li mama lemme wisper in yer ear" John wigglers at hearing this and flies to the.groins. "NO." HE BOOMS BLASTING WIND AT HIM! Rose find them wit testy eyes. "KANAYA IZ GON" She shrieks falling over in sob. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO"

 

 

Terezi POC

u r eatin allllllllll da red. Alllllllll of it. Jars o red everrrrryyyyywhere! Yum yum yum! Karzat had came back eating no red n u new he wus depressed. He hit his head in the tapel and u flop over to his. "KARLESSSSSSS" U wisper. "U WANNNNAAAAA KIZZZ?" U wisper. he nods slowly and u likr his neck. He smiles and kizzez ur neck and u laugh. You did dos 4 a long tim until a nue smelling john ran in2 the room screaming. "JOHN U FIZZFART FUCKASS!" Karkat yells. "SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE"


	4. John no.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John is bein a stupod

Ur name iz JOHN EGGBURP and u hav lost almost all of ur fronds. Karkat wus taken last night and terezi was desiccant. She whine and cried 4 his return but he neva cam bak. U new it wus eridan! U had walke to where u ladt saw eridan da sea monsta and hoped down da whole. "ERIDAN WHERE IS MY FRIENDS AND WHERE IS DAVEEE?" You yell. "NO WWHERRR TO BE FOND I SEA? WEL I MUST KILL ROSE NOW!" He shakes up ward but doesn't make it cause u hit him wot ur shoe. "NEVER!X!X!!X!" A dark moose came from the ground and grabbed u and flew away. "PUT MEH DOWNNNNNNNNNNNnnnNnnnnn" n ur gone.

 

Tavros da moose was vurt nice 2 jawn. He had fed him and bathes him but he was planing to implant the.seed of death in johns...."inbox" he smokes as john walk in and sit down. "what's for breakfront today?" He ask. "uhhhh,,,ME" tavros hops on john and tores away his clothes. "BE MY" He yells. John was having a nightmare. He wss dreaming of his cabinmate table nitram. He loks over to his sleepin bod and whispers. "dat fin ass is mine."

 

 

 

Terezi PoX

 

You were sp upset and running through the woods. "KARLESSSSSSSS" U yell. U loafed him so muc if u lost him u would b so so so sad. U had to pee so u waddled to the bush and did tha do and kep runin. "KARLESSSSSS" He wus gon liek de wind >:C


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ((PSSSTTT IM BORED SO IM PICKING THIS BACK UP FOR A WHILE!)

John gets up from his bed, walking right out the did. "IM COMIN 4 U ERIDN!!" he yodles running to a hole. He jum in staring at erind. "WHA U WN? DO I GOOOAT EAT ROSE?" "NO." He yells, slinging john into the wal. "SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE"

 

John wke ups chined to the wall. "U NO WAT, I WN KILL ROS I KIL NEPETA, EQUIUS AND THAT FAG ASS SHT STONER GAMEZEE."

 

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO"

 

 

Terezi:

 

You is sad.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What should happen next?
> 
> Post what you want in the comments!!!


	6. why

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> then there was more

Karat, rosa, and kanaka, where alll trapoed in eridAN the sea monstass cave of copious amounts of booty sex.   
everyone was bound but karkata "LET UPS GO YOU FUCKING TERD SHIT"   
eridan s neck twisted to meat karkats face.   
"NO"  
"oh ok" kamrt said as he walked away.  
eridan sighed as he ate his hambuga from mc donaels  
why do they strugle he slams as he swims to his sercect booty sex booty room  
AHAHAHHHAHAHA" MY BOOTY IS STILL VERY FINE"

 

 

 

MEANWHILE,

John had found a new neko neko desu girl named Nepata  
she was gonna help him  
"john should you be doing this" she scrreams  
john was shitting on the ground as a calling to eridan  
terezi swoops in and her is a dragon carpe  
"I WILL FIND THEM MYSELF AND KICK ERIDAN IN HIS FACE"  
"terezi no" john states he pulled up his pants with out wiping his booty cheks  
"TOO BAD"   
nepetat follows her and the go be bad ass as they find eridan fapping in his booty womb


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yah theeeer s more

you are not Dave Strider and you are dancing in the woods you've been here for a while in you are near cliff John has not come to found you and you are very sad now but then do you eat a Budapest Molly   
even though you are sad John has not come find you and kill you eat squirrel meat and butt cheeks and then you dad said Miss I call of Kells 

you wandered through the woods until you crap car back to the camp you screen and go looking for John who is pass out in emg  
"JOHN WAKE THE SHIT UP"  
JON wakeks up and Lois at dav  
"dAV I HAVE TO CUT UR DONGLY LONGLY DICK OFF"  
Dave gasp and holds his uncover scholnge that had poison ivy on it  
"No"  
Others  
"Hut eridn has larkat and roes"

"Ik" dav gives his strongly Dongli fiddly Willie ding to John and give him the Sean Lee Dong Eridan lads and gives his roes and kankaya, and everyone alse like fuerfi and all johns other loved onez,   
"Ty"  
Eridans turns into a muffin   
Karkat eats him and walks away with Terezi who was on a dragon.

I lov u dav  
Dave looks away  
" Wat oz it sav?"  
"I've fallin in lov wit a tree Jon."  
"What."  
"I m n lov w/ a t-"  
"No, I fucking heard you Dave, what the Fuck. I WENT THROUGH ALL THIS SHIT FOR YOU. AND YOU FALL IN LOVE WITH A TREE??????"  
"Jon I m srry"  
"TOO FUCIING BAD I'M OUTA HEREBI PASTED OUT LIKE 11 TIMES FOR YOU IMBSO DONE"

And then john walked away, only to return next summer


	8. The real story

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The real story.

John was fucking pissed. John was beyond pissed. He was not going, not if he was even if he was forced he would not attend some stupid summer camp. 

Sburb camp had a terrible reputation in safety. Last summer it was reported that 7 campers went missing and they were never found. The police had cancelled their investigation due to a low amount of clues and evidence, at least, that's what Fox news stated. 

"Johnny. It's already paid for! It was cheap and you need to get out of the house. I cannot just have you lazing around like last summer." 

John was hardly listening to his father blabber on about how much he paid for it and how amazing the camp would be. He actually had plans to hang out with his few friends he managed to make. 

"Dad, the last place I wanna be is at some run down smelly camp! People got kidnapped there!" John didn't even want to bother looking at the brochure his dad was sliding across the table.

Mr.Egbert sighed, pulling back the paper and glaring at his only child. He was going wether he liked it or not. He rose from the table, grabbing his mug of coffee and giving another huff.

John moved from the table and walked back to his room. Why he wanted to slam the door, he decided not to provoke his father any longer. The brunette flopped onto his baby blue bed, pulling his phone from his pocket.

 

A sudden message appeared in the group chat of John's few friends. They were both very lovely girls in the same grade as him. Rose and Jade.

Jade was John's sister, since his parents got a divorce and then the sudden murder of his mother, Jade lived with their grandfather Jake and grandmother Jane. Jade was very tan, with long thick brown hair. She was kind of a free spirit and she loved to surf.

Rose was a more laidback gothic like girl. Her mother worked as a lawyer and story writer and they were a very wealthy family. Rose regularly wore black lipstick and a pink and black attire. John always thought the black looked good against her brown skin.

John read the message slowly, scrolling through the wall of text.

______________________  
-Rose_L said: I cannot believe my mother and her decision making. She solemnly swore she wouldn't do a bother such as this again, yet, here we are. I'm speechless by her actions. I am attending Sburb Summer camp this year as punishment for sneaking out last week. This is bullshit.

-Jade.Harley said: aw! rose im sorry to hear that! but if it makes you feel better im also attending this year. john, i'll guess we have to cancle our plans to go up north.  
_______________________

 

John was confused and worried. Why were they also being signed up for this stupid camp? He could understand Jade a little bit, but this didn't seem like something Miss Lalonde would do. 

_______________________  
-John_Egg said: are you guys serious right now  
-John_Egg said: im going to that stupid camp too  
-John_Egg said: do you think our parents have something to do with this?

-Jade.Harley said: that's really weird  
-Jade.Harley said: didnt some campers get kidnapped last year?

-Rose_L said: I believe so.

-John_Egg said: why would they even send us to a place like that???

-Rose_L said: I don't know, but I'll just attend and get this nonsense over with. It's only a week.

-Jade.Harley said: yeah rose is right, we should just get it over with!

-John_ Egg said: if you say so, but i dont trust this  
_____________________

 

John tossed his phone somewhere on his bed. He did not want to go to Camp Sburb, it gave him strange vibes, and not even because the kidnappings. Something just felt...off about it. 

"It's only a week." the words rang in his head over and over. 

"It's just a week John, you've been through worse." But he didn't know that this would be the worst of all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This will update every summer on the 27. Or will i just stick with it? Please leave comments on what you think i should do.


End file.
